Pseudo Independence

Another concept I came up with while trying to explain trends that annoy me –
"pseudoindependence"

I see the media today, in fact how it's been for the last decade, and I get the vibe that woman empowerment themes has gone a long distance and elevated our society but has created a somewhat false sense of independence in women.

This is either the chauvinist in me that's saying this or the cynical orthodox, but I get the impression that women these days feel they could live without a partner of their opposite sex. I'm probably wrong but that's my impression of movies and tv shows that portray women living happy lives without being in a committed relationship sponsor a false sense of assurance to every day women.

So lets be scientific here : the effects i observe are more casually changing partners. Divorce cases. Agree with me , we hear about more divorces these days. And the cause I consider : listen to some of the lyrics these days , where the lead girl is saying she's 'sorry' she's seeing some other and doesn't want to lie to her man. Jeez - and given these women are role models what they preach can never be wrong.

Now I'm not just speaking so we guys have the upperhand. I've heard women confess they're unhappy because they felt they were confident they could live the rest of their lives in the company of friends and frequent flings. Sadly it doesn't work that way - I've probably provoked any one reading to a lot of arguments but maybe I'm inviting them because I need logical defence from protagonists in this area.

Serial Monogamy

Read some article recently and wanted to reflect by adding my own notes. I'm not sure if I'm backdated, but saw it added to Wikipedia only recently so figured it be a new concept.

Serial monogamy - it's probably becoming more and more frequent these days, or maybe it's just me coming across so many examples. By definition, a serial monogamist is a person who has several relationships in life, but which don't work out because of the fear of commitment and marriage. This struck me wildly - as the relationships all start of with the notion of 'This is it - s/he's the one' i.e. the intention for a serious relationship is present during its initial course - but eventually disintegrates away as time passes.

Is this a psychological problem? Some say the persons childhood has a role to play; Children who witness loyalty problems among their parents seem likely to have the fear of commitment. Perfectionists also fall into this - they want it to be perfect, hence even the minor flaws seem reason enough to end the relationship. This is saddening - there are plenty of people around us who are afraid of commitments, all it takes is for them to meet someone who can get rid of the fear. The problem is the relationship always starts with the monogamists apparent behavior of being committed and intentions to pursue the relation as if this is what s/he was looking for.

The other part of the story is opposite party - the partner thinks s/he might be able to finally change the behavior of the monogamist once reality kicks in. This is possibly because our mind thinks if we can introduce a 'true' sense of commitment in our partner, the relation will be secure.

My thinking is : the scene is no different than dealing with an absolute pessimist - you cannot breath positivity into them. They will find a reason even (if it didn't exist) to end the relationship. Best part, s/he would not repent the decision - better end something while you can than to suffer long term; only s/he will commit the same cycle pretty soon.