Border Control Analogy

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

And that, your honour, is why I was at the border shooting at illegal immigrants - to deter the rest.

A rare and most pleasant surprise

I had a horrible day in London trying to find a decent place to live - at one point, was thinking if I am making the right move leaving the tranquil life in the west country.

LaterI got home, and saw this:

The good, the bad and the ugly

Here’s an old fable that I came across in a video.

A wolf saw a new born lamb, and said “Hey, you were the one who dirtied my water last year!”  The lamb defended, “No sir, it wasn’t me”.  “No, I know it was you!!” the wolf insisted. The lamb tried to explain, “But sir, I was only born this year. How could have I possibly dirtied your water last year?” “So it must have been your mother then for which you must pay”, and thus the wolf started feasting on the lamb.

The mother sheep came by, and what could the poor mother do when she saw her son between the jaws of the wolf torn into pieces? In passion of her motherhood, she head butted the wolf. Of course, the wolf was not affected by the mother sheep, but shouted out to other animals, “Look at this terrorist, head butting me”. The parrots heard the loud wolf, repeated in numbers what the wolf was shouting, and joined in voice “Yes, we condemn the ewe butting the wolf.” Where were the parrots when the wolf ate the lamb? 

The above fable was used by Osama Bin Laden when developing an analogy for the 9/11 attacks back in 2011, the wolf being USA, the water being Israel, the lamb being Palestine, the mother sheep being Iraq, and the parrots being the western media.

Of course, we now know through conspiracy theories, Osama’s logic was fairly scripted, as the attacks were portrayed as an act of defence. My personal modification of the story would be:

The wolf assembles a loud group of smaller wolves in sheep clothing, instructs them to bite and scratch it and then yell out to the parrots that the mother sheep and her clan did so.

Actual YouTube from Al Jazeera

Career Starting Tips - Questions to Ask Yourself

My professor at uni asked me to present for the new graduates, so I thought I get clever and discuss two fundamental questions I think many employers these days ask fresh graduates and so I thought I could put some structure to this. If you're at an early stage in your career, just out of uni, thinking where and how to start applying, maybe you can start getting your roadmap right by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Do you want to utilize and enrich a certain skill set or do you want to grow experience in a particular industry ?
2. Do you want to start at entry level at a large firm and work your way up, or do you want to join a small firm at a pivotal role?

The diagram above shows the four possible responses to the questions and I'll describe below their descriptions and impacts as far as my brief experience in the market has been.

Skill set specific job in a small firm - 

Skill set specific job in a large firm - 

Industry specific job in a small firm - 

Industry specific job in a large firm - 

Father and Son - Cat Stevens

It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young, that's your fault
There's so much you have to know

Find a girl, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me, I am old
But I'm happy

I was once like you are now,
And I know that its not easy
To be calm , when you found
Something going on

But take your time
Think a lot
Think of everything you got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not

How can I try to explain
When I do he turns away again
Its always been the same
Same old story

From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen now

There's a way , and I know
I have to go away
I know, I have to go

And all the times, that I've cried
Keeping all the things I knew inside

And it's hard, but harder to ignore it
If they were right, I'd agree
But it's them they know, Not me now

There's a way , and I know

That I have to go away 

I know, I have to go 

SQL Snippet - How to count the number of characters in a string

I've come across a number of methods to count the number of characters in a string in SQL Server, but this is by far the most clever:


SELECT LEN('How to count no. of o') - LEN( REPLACE('How to count no. of o','o','') )

The replace function replaces all 'o's with '', therefore removing them.

The difference in lengths is therefore the number of 'o's.

Lyrics - Yeh jo Halka Halka Suroor Hai (Ustaad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan)

Saki ki har nigaha pe balkha ke pee gaya
Lehro se khelta hua lehra ke pee gaya

Aye rehmate tamam meri har khata muaaf
Mein inteha e shauk mein ghabra ke pee gaya

Pee ta bagair izn, yeh kab thi meri majaal
Dar parda jashne yaar ki sheh paake pee gaya

Zahid yeh meri shokhiye zinda na dekhna,
Rehmat ko baaton baaton mein behla ke pee gaya

Udi udi ghataye aati hai,
Mutribo ki navayen aati hai
Kiski yeh soo khuli hai saawan mein
Mehki mehki hawaein aati hai

Aao sehne chaman mein raks kare
Saaz lekar ghataye aati hai,
Dekh kar unki akhniyo ko adam,
mehkado ko hayae aati hai

Paas rehta hai , duur rehta hai
koi dil mein zaroor rehta hai

jab se dekha unki aakhon ko,
halka halka suroor rehta hai

aise rehte hai woh mere dil mein
jaise zulmat mein noor rehta hai

ab adam ka yeh hal har dam
mast rehta hai, choor rehta hai